English 10:
-Antigone Ode II
AP Lang:
-SAT Vocab quiz lists 1-5
–Florence Kelley Weeds and Roses
HWK–Exam corrections due Monday; Allusion Tea Party Wednesday; TC finish reading due Thursday; RER due Friday; TC RD due 3/25
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Ms. Kitchens' Corner 
I cannot seem to locate the MC test answers. Am i just not looking hard enough or are they not on here?
I have them on my laptop if you still need them. I assume you needed them for your exam corrections?
Lindsay McCue, Period 6
New Conclusion: In the end, Florence Kelley left her audience energized. After such a moving speech, the men and women clearly took a stand, as seen in today’s society. Kelley’s dream ultimately came true– the children were free to be young once again.
Lindsay, your conclusion is great! It is very effective, you did a great job on presenting the effect it had on the future, and how back then compares to today’s society.
Claire Coalwell, Period 6
New Conclusion: Florence Kelley addresses her audience in a firm yet motivating tone. The audience takes in her speech as a call to action. Today children are free- as they should be- and Kelley achieved her goal. She made a difference in the world.
I like how you make direct statements, Claire. I think you could vary the sentence length a little bit though–especially the “The audience…” sentence. Maybe combine the first and second sentence together?
I agree with Sam on the variation of sentence length. I really like the focus on the audience, as if Kelley’s audience were the exact people who saved the children.
Oh–great use of the dash, Claire! And Sam is right on about combining those sentences. Goodonya!
Samantha Wilson
Period 6
The passion and chutzpah of Florence Kelley’s speaking moved her audience to appeal to her cause. Without such passion, the children would have been lost to the the harsh working conditions–but they were not: Florence Kelley saved them.
I like your diction choice in the first sentence. Perhaps you could lose the dash? Does it really add anything?
I’m with Nick on this one: the dash, conjunction and colon all so close together weaken each of them. I think the colon works the hardest, so I’d swap the dash out for a simple comma and allow that colon to shine. Yes! to diction choice!
I’m digging the word ‘chutzpah’ also I like the idea of connecting the children to Kelley, further proving that she was successful.
Nick Gossage
Period 3
Florence Kelley managed to move an entire country to change the child labor laws. The passion she uses moved the souls of everyone then, so children today dont have to work now.
Nick, these two sentences have a great syntactical and chronological flow. Well done!
I like the simplicity of your conclusion. I feel like it is the best route to choose on a timed write, so that you can have the most time for body paragraphs
Today the child labor menace has been vanquished; The work of activists like Kelley have changed the world by doing everything from keeping kids at home, to garnering workers rights, and even obtaining suffrage for women.When faced with cruelty, unfairness, and even violence, activists have pushed on to change the world for the better. The english language allows these passionate people to nonviolently alter the world how they see fit.With a pencil in one hand and a plethora of rhetorical strategies in the other, these composers prove that the pen can be just as mighty as any sword.
Lindsay McCue, period 6
Nice job, Brandi! You did a nice job relating your conclusion to the bigger picture. I do, however, think that you could possibly get rid of those last two sentences because they are borderline summarizing (the big no-no!). It works great with or without them! Overall though this is really good! You have strong word choice and nice examples. Wooo! 🙂
Florence Kelley’s speech created an impact on her audience. The powerful, emotional impact her words left changed the future of America’s young children. Kelley’s call to action was successful, for child labor in America is no longer existent.
By using pathos and expositroy facts, Florence kelley creats a powerful speech, in hopes of freeing “the children from toil.” Without her selected rhetorical strategies, children in the United States might still be found in sweatshops making others’ shoes, instead of on the court, pumping up their Air Jordans.
Hahaha nice analogy to the Air Jordans! It helps the reader of today connect with your writing. I also like how you plucked and plopped “the children from toil” quote to solidify your conclusion. I need to work on adding more text, so i’ll definitely jack your idea on my next essay:)
p.s. this was very effective. I felt like this was actually an ending.
I think that you did a good job of plucking and plopping in your conclusion. I would find it hard to put a quote into a conclusion. **applaud**
Conclusion: Kelley’s artful strokes of language and rhetoric create a masterpiece fit for the Louvre. What must the audience have thought of Kelley’s claims? Seeing her great talent in connecting the audience personally with the children, one can conclude that the parents, and grandparents, and teachers, and aunts and uncles must have felt a need to help. Kelley’s speech was like an alarm clock waking up the snoozing adults from their oblivious slumber.
In her speech, Florence Kelley gives a voices to the voiceless children working in factories. She seamlessly weaves in facts with emotional appeals to motivate the audience to fight for child labor laws. Without her brilliance and creativity where would we find the children of America today?
Grace: I love your conclusion! It’s engaging and interesting. Good use of a question to keep the reader interested and suggesting what the audience might have been thinking at the time. I tend to have boring conclusions so I would definitely use your strategy of asking a question.
Kelly leaves the older audience not only influenced, but also thoughtful and insightful to the future of children’s lives. Kelly’s call to action arises the awareness in the audience’s minds and makes the future change in a positive way.