Buy Nothing Day RER

Find your least developed body paragraph. Type that paragraph in a comment under “Buy Nothing Day RER.”

  • Respond to two peoples’ paragraphs: provide them with ideas as to where and with what information they can expand their paragraph. How could they analyze deeper? What questions could they ask? How could they reconnect to the thesis?
  • Based on your peers’ feedback, rewrite your least developed paragraph.

** Please make sure you respond by 12:00 p.m. SUNDAY evening (it will post as 4 a.m. Monday morning, strange, I know) in order to earn credit.

 

**Please also make sure to use your FIRST AND LAST NAME AND PERIOD NUMBER as your log-in/username. 🙂

 

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138 thoughts on “Buy Nothing Day RER

  1. (Lindsay McCue Period 6)
    In some cases, however, a person may honestly need to spend money incredibly often. A truck driver, for instance, will need to spend money almost daily on gasoline in order to do his or her job. Another situation may be a doctors office that is constantly needing to spend money in order to treat those who need medical care. Both of these situations, however, are necessities. Establishing an annual Buy Nothing Day does not affect those who must make purchases; it was not created to delay emergencies or ruin a business, it is a day designed for everyday people who splurge on items not necessary for survival to realize that they are indeed wasting.

  2. (Miranda Mellor, Period 6)
    Day one of any economics class starts with the idea of consumerism. This is because our economy is built on the constant production and distribution of goods, and a day where no one bought a single item would be detrimental.For example, when a business opens for the day, the owner instantly receives bills that must be paid. bills such as, rent, utilities, employees, etc. If no one purchased a product for even just one day, that is a day of bills an owner is unable to pay. In todays current recession small business owners are struggling enough and everyday counts.

    • (Lindsay McCue, Period 6)
      Miranda, try and connect the third and fourth sentences.. the fourth seems to be just another detail of the third and isn’t complete standing alone. Also, you could try and include more reasons on why it would be harder for a business to stay afloat after the sentence “If no one purchased a product for even just one day, that is a day of bills an owner is unable to pay”. The paying bills idea is a good example, but maybe add in more reasons why buy nothing day would put those businesses at a disadvantage. At the end of this paragraph to relate back to your thesis, you could say something like “Due to the negativities mentioned, Buy Nothing Day would put these people in the worst possible situation, and therefore as a country with a struggling economy we should not establish this unique holiday”

    • (Freddy Lienhard, Period 3)
      Miranda, you have a good start but you have a huge “duh moment” that resulted in a “duh paragraph.” I did the same exact thing. Try to pull all of this into one or two sentences, then go on to explain something outside the box; maybe even something about the personal lives of these small business owners. Explain to the reader how they are struggling: “every night their kids sit down at the dinner table and, after thanking God for the food He provided for them, they lift their heads and their bright eyes feast upon the banquet that awaits them at the other end of the table. The only thing running through their minds is how fast they will consume it. The only thing running through their father’s mind, the owner of a pawn shop six streets over, however, is how each meal from that night on is going to be smaller and smaller. His bills are piling up and, due to the failing economy, he’s going to have to start skipping lunch so he can afford dinner for his wife and kids” etc. Show the reader the hurt these people are going through.

  3. Lindsay
    Expand on the idea of people who have to spend money for their jobs. Explain why this matters more than the positive effects of Buy Nothing Day. You have good examples of cases where this would have a negative effect, but you just need to explain why this negative outweighs the positive effects of Buy Nothing Day

  4. (Jenelle Rose, Period 6)
    Business, such as grocery stores, clothing stores, and restaurants rely on the income they make in a day from customers. Taking a day away from business could leave some companies in very tight situations. No daily income means no money to buy the bread that gets shipped to Fredmeyer, or the shoes that get shipped to Famous Footwear. Not only would there be no money to pay for the products, employees wouldn’t get paid, and no one wants to work without pay

    • (Lindsay McCue, Period 6)
      After the second sentence you could include more detail on why companies would be in a tight situation if nobody bought anything from them, that way you could connect it to the idea of no money in your next sentence. Maybe add in the fact that if people don’t buy things, then that business will fall behind on how much they want to make, or get overstocked, or something else that negatively affects businesses with poor sales. Also, at the end of your paragraph, you could mention how all these bad things outweigh the benefits of having a day where peole don’t buy anything (to relate it back to your thesis).

    • Nelle, unless this is your first body paragraph, create a transition sentence. You could explain deeper into why these companies would be in a bad situation during and after the Buy Nothing Day. Maybe add about the businesses that already have a hard time getting customers and how this day would effect their business.

  5. Francisco Tovar (Period 3)

    In today’s world the environment is a topic that has more and more importance because of the effects it leaves on the world. The article “Buy Nothing Day: 2006 Press Release” states that the day was established to “expose the environmental and ethical consequences of overconsumption.”By establishing an annual buy nothing day, the world, earth, will be improved for at least one day of the year in a way that saves the natural resources of the earth. Imagine a day where gases, pollutants, and other harmful substances are not released into the environment because people decided to not get gas, fast food, or other things that require or cause the environment to be harmed.

    • To analyze a little further, you could describe what that day would look like. You tell the reader to imagine it, but a little help would make the reader imagine it the way you want them to.

    • Francisco,
      Instead of using the term “more and more” you could use “…a topic that has grown increasingly important because…” Also, you just kind of throw your quote at the reader. You give them this quote, but don’t analyze it. Also, I completely agree with Hector. If you tell your audience to “imagine a day where…” they might begin to think in a direction different than your own, which is not beneficial for your argument.

  6. Hector Brandt, 6th period.
    Respect is the single largest contributer to group success, but when considering what creates identity, one must turn to the strand connecting each member in the assembly: understanding. It creates the concept of unspoken rulles themselves; non-vocalized ideas cannot exist without the presence of understanding. Once the individual understands what the others value, then the individul may be accepted and truly belong to the group.

    • (Isaac Swenson, Period 6)
      Extend on the idea of understanding by providing a specific situation where understanding is necessary. Also maybe explain what you mean by understanding in this context, and you could bring in the quote of “to belong is to understand the tacit codes of the people you live with” from the thesis. Other than that, this paragraph has really good ideas.

    • (Freddy Lienhard, period 3)
      To really express the fact that the act of understanding leads to acceptance, explain what happens if one does not “understand.” Show the reader that becoming a 3rd wheel in 99% of conversations the individual is involved in causes social awkwardness and lack of communication skills. Skills which are a necessity for any job or social activity society demands on our race. Great idea, you just need a little bit of concrete detail to back it up

  7. (Shannon Jack, Period 6)
    People need to realize that money cannot buy happiness. This time spent shopping should be spent at home with family and friends, where the real happiness is. One does not need to spend all of their money to be content. Having a Buy Nothing Fay would open up people to being creative with their time and money, while spending it at home with important, special people. This day would show people that over-consuming sucks up happiness like a sponge and replaces it with greed.

    • One way to make this a more developed paragraph, I think that you should elaborate on what people could be doing instead of spending money. How can one be creative with time and money? Doing this might also lead to a smoother transition between “special people” and how it shows people the negative effects of over-consumption.

    • I agree with Hector that you should explain how people can be creative with their time and money. And in addition elaborate on how money cannot buy happiness. This way you can further support your reason for having a BND.

  8. Francisco:
    You gave good examples of how overconsumption would harm the environment, but now delve into ways that overconsumption can cause ethical consequences, since that was part of the concrete detail you took out of the prompt.

  9. A buy nothing day would raise awareness amongst each person and promote frugality. A buy nothing day is a wonderful idea, even if it may pose problems for local businesses. If an annual buy nothing day were to occur, small businesses should show support and close up shop during that day, then each party involved would win: people will save money and promote frugality, while businesses would not lose any money over paying employees when no profit is earned.

    • You have good ideas, but you should mention the problems a BND would cause for local business. To further elaborate why you are against it.

      • (Riley Morgan, Period Six)
        What are the problems for the local businesses? The way you put it, it sounds like there are none. Also, twice you say “and promote frugality”, and it seems slightly redundant because they are within such close proximity. Maybe you could rephrase it or use synonyms? Just a little bit of tweaking, rephrasing, and maybe one or two more sentences providing a little more detail/evidence, and I think it’d be much better!

  10. (Mariah Johnston Pd3)
    By exposing overconsumption, one day of not purchasing goods will hurt our economy. If the Uited States were to establish a Buy Nothing DAy many businesses and schools would lose hundreds to thousands of dollars. The dollars lost help these companies and schools stay a float in the poor economy we have. Taking a “24-hour consumer detox” (“Buy Nothing Day”) would cripple the sales that already struggling businesses and schools have.

  11. Hector,
    With your paragraph I think you should use some real life examples, maybe even some personal ones, to express your ideas more clearly. And if you shortened some of your sentences instead of having really long, wordy ones. Sometimes getting straight to the point, then elaborating is a greater step that elaboration first.
    — Dani Pace (sixth period)

  12. The economy, as a whole, will benefit from this day. The economic downfall in Greece could have been saved because of the “Buy Nothing Day.” In Greece, the streets were chaos. Blame flew every which way. The “Buy Nothing Day” could have given Greece’s top dogs and common man both a chance to fix the problems. Negligent buyers have a chance to regain stability, and shops and big business’ can take time out to balance. The flow of the economy woul run smoothly.

    (Shelbey Carlson pd 3)

    • Maybe expand a little on how Greece’s economy had fallen. It didn’t seem like it ties back into the Buy Nothing Day, but I know you could! Also, the last two sentences don’t seem to mesh well, I feel like there is a connecting sentence/idea that was left out, maybe something that could evolve into another example to further support the sentence. Maybe something having to do with time management, overworking, and the dangers of volatility, which could connect the “negligent buyers” who need “a chance to regain stability” with the businesses that need to “take time out to balance” with the economy that would run smoothly.

  13. Mariah,
    You should explain how it would hurt schools and how it would really be detrimental to some companies. Like would a big corporation really be effected by the “24 hour detox” if so, explain how. Stating facts to back this up would make it even more believable.
    (Dani Pace Period six)

  14. (Riley Morgan, Period Six)
    Though the risks may be high in extreme conditions, this day is a potential cure. Many Americans are the definition of lazy. On this day, they would either have to plan ahead, or work for basic needs. A mean, prepared with love, would be cooked by possibly the whole family. Bonding could occur while simple yardwork took place, and walking, biking, or organizing the spending of gas would benefit everyone’s wallet. A Buy Nothing Day provides the organization and physical activity that numerous people lack.

    • Riley, how are “many Americans the definition of lazy”? Try providing a more specific example and/or description to set the tone of “laziness”, and how BND would be a potential cure for this fatal disease. Additionally, I feel that your logical order of reasoning is off a bit. It might just be me, but I feel like you’re going from “lazy” to “planning ahead” to “bonding”, and then ending with “organization and physical activity”. I think the paragraph would be easier to understand if you specify/clarify the connections between “lazy” and “the cure”.
      I hope this actually made sense. 🙂

  15. (Miranda Mellor, Period 6)
    Mariah
    You have good ideas but you cut them short. Explain how Buy Nothing Day would cause schools and businessses to lose money. You need to explain the steps that brought you to this statement. Then in your next sentence you mention the economy, try to elaborate on the state of the economy. You dont have to give a full economic statement but explain why loss of money would be so detrimental

  16. (Rachel Olson, Period 6)
    With countless amounts of people flooding through stores, no one stops to think about what they are buying. The awareness of true necessities has decreased and money is thrown down the drain. According to the online article, “Buy Nothing Day: 2006 Press Release” allowing a day of no purchasing, people will “expose the environmental and ethical consequences of over consumption” (“Buy Nothing Day”, courtesy Adbusters, http://www.adbusters.org). The eyes of many may be opened to the idea of not buying for the sake of buying.

    • Rachel,
      Your quote mentions the environmental consequences of a BND. Your paragraph, however, has nothing to do with environmental consequences, let alone the ethical consequences. Your paragraph is simply stating the effects a BND should have.

  17. (Rachel Olson, Period 6)
    Hector,
    Make sure you connect back to your thesis. Just off of this paragraph I cannot tell whether you are supporting a Buy Nothing Day or not. Try using this as your transition (I haven’t read the whole essay so not sure if it connects) or at least state what your position is.

  18. Rachel,
    Your paragraph is good. One thing you could do is maybe discuss some more implications as to how environmental and ethical consequences of overconsumption could affect the nation or a person.
    Francisco T. Period 3

  19. (Daisy Cuevas, Period 3)
    Therefore , Buy Nothing Day could help Americans realize that we over consume especially, since when we go to CostCo, everything is overly packaged and then when someone goes to the check stand they still get more boxes to carry all their products out and in to their car. Since BND would Americans see what they throw away and how much we use that we could keep all of those boxes from the landfills. I know for a fact that not everyone recylcels. I walk down my street and that there’s paper, plastic and cardboard sticking out from the garbage bin and not the recylcleing one.

    • Daiiiissyy:
      Your first sentence could be broken up into two or three smaller sentences. For instance, end the first one at “consume”, and break the rest into two other sentences, one about Costco, and the other about overpackaging. Just a reminder; your conclusion (I think this is your conclusion, it sounds and looks like conclusion) is not the place to bring in new examples. It is okay to bring in a previously explained example, but not a new one.
      Additionally, I don’t think there was supposed to be any first person.

    • If i were you, i would reword the first part of sentence 1, specifically “Buy Nothing Day could help Americans realize that we over consume especially”, i feel like it doesn’t make much sense grammatically. If you want to analyze further, i would give more examples of how people just throw away things and suggest a way to combat it.

  20. (Sam Wilson, Period Six)

    Amongst other subjects of un-wasted things, would be time. A Buy Nothing Day wold provide a free day off for those workers in retail. A working student who is taking three Advanced Placement classes and working at Hooters in high school ought to be very busy, and would appreciate the day of relaxation and the chance to study for any grueling tests she may having coming up. The only exception to this is if the United States government were dense enough to place Buy Nothing Day on April 20th, in which case every teenager would spend the day smoking marijuana instead of positive activities. But the Americans are not that stupid, hopefully.

    • Sam,
      Don’t hate me. But I don’t think this paragraph is taking the prompt seriously. Your examples need to be more relatable to everyone, not just “working student[s] taking three Advanced Placement classes and working at Hooters in high school”. And insulting Americans, whether indirect or not, is probably not a good idea for an essay.

  21. Daisy,
    I think that your paragraph could use a lot of rereading just to make sure everything flows well and sounds correctly. You could also check your spelling on some words. Start with the basics and then improve the structure of your paragraph. It doesn’t seem like the paragraph ends well or would transition well. Best of luck.
    Francisco T, Period 3

  22. this is my conclusion:

    Other nations across the world have established an anti-consumerism day. Some, according to “Buy Nothing Day” are taking “part of the 14th annual Buy Nothing Day.” It has worked for many other countries, and is “held yearly in many other nations.” Stores are closed on holidays, and people manage through those days. If our country cna make it through those days, we can survive a Buy Nothing Day.

    (Tori Weber p. 6)

    • you could briefly talk about the benifits of stores being closed for a day. such as Black Friday. and in general why it would be good to not spend for a day
      TIMMY MOSER P.3

  23. A “buy nothing day” could help local businesses take a step back to plan for an upcoming transaction, or a simple day of rest, for instance this greek restaurants owners told me that they could use a day of rest to help improve their financial position and their working conditions because they have been feeling rather put upon by the constant flow of customers, and so they could use a dat of rest. This “Buy Nothing Day” could also raise an awareness of how over-consumerism is starting to rule the nation, I myself have found that a lot of people will just buy something out of instinct to buying things, not because they really wanted it, but because the wanted to buy something. This is why a “Buy Noting Day” could improve peoples lives altogether

    • Nick,
      1. separate your upcoming transaction idea and your simple day of rest idea. After they have been split, elaborate mucho on both ideas.
      2. Periods, dashes, and semicolons are your friends. Use them to break up ideas and examples; it will make your writing much more clear.
      3. Try to make a more subtle conclusive sentence that relates back to your thesis. The last sentence of every paragraph should be kind of like a small jab to driving in your thesis, and then your conclusion should deliver the knockout. Try not to overkill that last sentence.

  24. In order to avoid spending money on this day, plans can be made to have food in the house to avoid the need to drive to the store for something to eat. Likewise, gas can be bought and prescriptions purchased either the day before or after. Plans can be made to make this day worry-free and make it through the day gracefully. This day will be difficult for Americans at first. It is expected. As our country has made her way through many other battles, this one day will be minor. The Article “Buy Nothing Day” from http://www.adbusters.org provides this word: “detox.” A necessary detox this day will be for Americans.

    (please ignore my previous post.)

    Tori Weber, p. 6

    • Maybe describe some of the battles our country has endured, and link it to Buy Nothing Day to exaggerate how minor it would it in comparison. Also, try to rephrase your sentances, mainly the first one, to cut out some of the prepostitions, it will make it less choppy. Try to find a transition from sentance 6 to sentance 7. Finally, try to rephrase the last sentance because it currently doesn’t really make sense.

  25. (Isaac Swenson, Period 6)
    My prompt was about belonging to a group and having unspoken laws, not “Buy Nothing Day.”

    Many cultures have unspoken rules that are virtually unbreakable. Submitting to them is essential to belonging. Because of the importance placed upon them, these rules define the group’s culture. Showing respect to others is one that comes up again and again. For example, in many Native American tribes, there is a chief who is in charge. The unspoken law is to show respect when speaking to the chief. This is similar to in a family: older family members command more respect and set the rules. Society is built around the unspoken law of respect. It is what differentiates leaders and followers. Anywhere in the world you go, you can observe this in effect.

  26. Miranda,
    maybe try using an implicit transition if this is your middle body paragraph or maybe even give an example of when something similar to this happend in the news or in real life

  27. Isaac,
    You have good ideas in your passage, but it is a bit choppy. Using tranistion will help smooth your ideas out. Like the sentence “Submitting to them is essential to belonging” then you go into why, but you leave out a transition.

  28. (Bridgette Petzoldt Period-3)

    Please note that I had the make-up prompt. Which was about unspoken rules defining group identity and the relationship between unspoken rules and belonging. I also understand that my paragraph is very redundant, especially in the first sentence.

    Teenage girls especially are at one of the most vulnerable stages in their lives during their teenage years, and many times look for a role model, someone to aspire to and act like. With the movement for everyone to be what is considered perfect, girls have trouble finding the right role models and because of these unspoken rules, will often times change their appearance drastically, dieting, dying their hair and cutting out childhood friends in exchange for new friends. We are suffering from a perpetual case of ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ mentalities, because unspoken rules are forcing us to think this way. In the ‘Scarlet Letter’, Hester Prynn is ostracized because she goes against what is considered moral code at the time even though the likely case was that no one ever told her “Hester, adultery is wrong” she definitely knew about it.

    • Pretzelhold,
      Right after “the right role models”, add in information. You could say something like what a perfect role model looks like. Also, try to define better those “unspoken rules”. I feel as though if I had a better idea of what some of those rules were, I could better understand the point you are trying to get across. And once you define some of those, you can dip down into the eternal well of hand cramping trying to write enough to describe said rules.

    • B,
      You are definitely on the right track. And I don’t know if you meant to do this or not, but after your first example you say “we”, and that smoothly connects you to the example in a personal but not obnoxious way. The only real editing I think you need here is to rephrase that first sentence, and because I’m a Spelling Nazi: *Prynne.

      Amelia Tornatore, Period 6

  29. By not buying goods for a day, there is less waste. In many household pantries, there are old soup cans and forgotten packets of Top Ramen. Living a life where there is access to food and entertainment, people become less grateful of what they own. They decide to drive to town just to roam the mall, or to buy more food than they can handle. In effect they waste precious gas and money. A day of no spending is needed to give consumers and the enviroment a “24 hour detox” (Adbousters).

    TIMMY MOSER P.3

  30. SamMei,
    I greatly admire and even envy your voice you can work into your essays. I also greatly enjoy and find your writing humorous. However, as Daisy said earlier, the voice is not completely professional to the extent you used it. Try re-working your first sentence to exclude “things”. And do your best to choose examples that do not discuss “Hooters” or marijuana.

  31. Dani,
    Your paragraph is very conclusion-esque. Is it really a body paragraph, or a misplaced conclusion? With a little more development, and some re-ordering of your essay, it could be a lovely conclusion paragraph if you were to include some transitions. Consider starting your second sentence with almost anything except for “A buy nothing day…” starting consecutive sentences in the same way causes it to be very boring and dull sounding. Add some writing flavor. Also, lengthening the paragraph by adding in some small examples could help. Right now you are at three sentences, shoot for maybe five to seven total.

    Good luck!

  32. However, in today’s society, a consumer-less day could mean a big hit to the economy. Every single day on the Earth, goods and wealth are constantly flowing. With a disruption to that flow, many people and companies could lose money. Because our economy is almost based off of the work of small and large business alike, the entire economy would take a hit. The U.S., Spain, Greece, and Japan are just four of the many teetering economies all over the world; if a Buy Nothing Day is implemented, many of these economies could be thrown into greater peril.

    • Kyle,
      I think that adding more explaination of your thoughts and explaining how these examples relate to your thesis would benefit you because you have good word choice and you have great use of examples but you don’t explain them as well as you could.
      Madeline Friend period 3

    • i completely agree with Maddy, just like Ms. K has been saying, the reader wont assume, so you have to walk them right back to how it fits with your thesis. i need to work on this too. And this sentence needs another word : “Because our economy is almost [entirely] based off of the work of small and large business alike, the entire economy would take a hit.”
      “entirely” smooths it up just a little, because without it that sentence snagged me up on my first read through, and it could still use a little re-wording.

  33. In order to belong in a group, one must enjoy being there. To enjoy being there, one must be able to relate to the conversations that are made. No one can truly sit on the exterior of a conversation , occasionally responding to a question, but with no real interest, and have fun. This is another omnipresent code of groups. They must be able to talk or relate to each other. In order to do that, they must have similar interests.

    -please note that I used a different prompt.

  34. (Savannah Compton Pr.6)

    The world is filled with many great, wonderful things to buy. Is it really necessary to buy everything you want? Almost everyone in the world buys atleast more then one item a day. This proves that a Buy Nothing Day would be wonderful because it shows how much we consume everyday. Even though not everyone could handle not being able to buy something, it will help them to notice our excessive consumerism. Plus it will help them save alot of money.

    • first of all its a little choppy and could use some transitions, I’m pretty bad about that too.
      second the syntax itself of the sentences make for choppy reading. Try to improve the word choice and flow of each and every sentence, for example instead of the third senescent: “Nearly everyone in the world makes a single purchase or more each and every day.” still room for improvement, but a step up from the redundancy of the original.
      last you need to tie it back into your thesis. like ms K said the reader wont assume so you have to walk them all the way along, but not like you would a kinder-gardener. It’s a fine line.

  35. A second reason why having a Buy Nothing Day would be beneficial and places everywhere should have this is because it teaches many people about overconsumption. People may buy way too many things and not realize it and this day can help them learn that. “Expose the environmental and ethical consequences of overconsumption” (Adbusters). By teaching this, consumers learn a fact they might not have known even existed. Therefore this is beneficial to the public.
    Claire Coalwell, Period 6

  36. On a larger scale, unwritten rules are very specific and quite plentiful. There is a plethora of do’s and do not’s one must learn as they grow up in a country such as the United States. It is quite obviousmurder is morally wrong to a very large percentage of the population. It is written as a law only to ensure justice for those who commit it. Though many rules are unspoken and the breaker of them can be shunned. For example, one cannot kick a young child for any reason. Doing so will only result in hatred of the person. This claim seems obvious, but unspoken rules are extremely important to sustaining order in both small and large scale groups.

    I feel like this was a paragraph with a lot of “duh” moments and I feel like i rushed it

  37. Moreover, the relfection is what ignites awareness, and, in turn, blazes into action. Without the awareness of “the environmental and ethical consequences of over consumption” (Buy Nothing Day,) there will be not action to end it. Buy nothing day will first mullify society by not consuming then help it become pragmatic. The addiction to compulsive shopping will cease. By being aware that the world compulsively takes more than what is needed, the action will follow. The action one must take is simple: cut back and think before one contributes to the ‘sparkly’ idea of consumerism.

    I feel like I should have given examples as to what the environmental and ethical consequences were.

    Tiffanie Matthews period 6

  38. Undoubtly many people will by very against this day, but humans need to be aware “of the excessive consumerism” (adbusters). They need a reality check on how much one really spends. It would help “expose the environment and ethical consequences of overconsumption” (adbusters). Besides it is urged not forced.

    I did not go into further details with the quotes and it seems choppy.
    Bridgette Janicki 3rd Period

    • I totally agree with what you said you didn’t do. I think your main problem with this paragraph is that you need to go more in-depth and further support your sub-claim. Concrete details and examples can help you to do this, and also some commentary. I think that is the only problem though. Good use of quotes.

      • I agree with Timmy. Bridgette, you did a great job weaving in quotes, but that’s all you have to support your argument. You need some nice specific examples of when “Buy Nothing Day” would “expose the environment and ethical consequences of overconsumption”. Then have some solid commentary to explain your examples and link this all back to your thesis.

  39. Tiffanie,
    It help the reader understand this paragraph more if you explained and gave examples on your quote. Then perhaps connect that quote back to your thesis. To help ask yourself “how will this day make people see the environmental and ethical consequences of over consumption?” go a bit deeper into the How, What, Why, ect. Also the part when you say “there will not be action to end it” explain more on that like

  40. ***I had the make-up prompt, which was about unspoken rules and belonging.***

    You see this in school communities, too. Students with the same classes or who play the same sports stick together becuase of the familiarity of their presence and the consistency of their communication. Teachers with similar rules within the classroom can be within similar subjects or just have the same expectations for the children.

    My examples are too general and sort of confusing.
    Amelia Tornatore, Period 6

  41. “Buy Nothing Day” should be recognized nationally as a day where no money is spent, and all cash is stopped. Everyday, money is wasted on frivolous goods, things we don’t really need to survive. Having one day a year would be a good baby-step back to our normal lives. Somethings just need to be evaluated. Black Friday, for instance. A day when people are killed, maniacs stand in line overnight, and so much money is wasted.

  42. This day might also be a catalyst to people think about what is necessary and what is wastefull. Sure that twenty dollar bottle of shampoo is nice, and it “makes hair shiny and smell terrific,” but there are more likely than not already bottles of the costco shampoo sitting on the closet shelf that lie unopened and unused. One should not be wasteful of two things equal in quality one just flashier in packaging.
    Madeline Friend period 3

    • I think you have a good example with the shampoo. However, the paragraph sounds a little choppy and you might consider your word choice, i.e. when you say, “Equal in equality.” You might want to ask yourself how to make your paragraph smoother and how to relate this paragraph to the Buy Nothing Day.

    • I think that you have the right idea and i like the way you put voice into your writing, but you could expand a little on your idea. Add a little bit of analysis to your examples to show the relevance of it.

  43. Grace O’Reilly per.3
    Excessive consumersism ia a largel problem in America. America has notorious stores such as Costco, that sells items in bulk for cheap prices. Americans love a good deal, so they buy, and buy, and buy even when they could survive without the a twenty-four pack of Orbit gum. Coupon collectors plauge consumerism as well. It is supported by the medis with shows that highlight the “fun” and “convienence” of coupon clipping. On the shows you see a fanily owning their own mini grocery store because of all the coupons they clipped. America puts consumerism on a pedestal.

      • I feel as though you are a little repetitive with “America” and “consumerism” but I really like your concrete details. Your sub-claim could be a little more in-depth maybe and the last sentence sounds a little funky to me, but you have great concrete examples!

  44. I had a different prompt so this probably makes no sense to most of you.

    The schools are not the only places that unspoken rules are present. If you are walking through downtown Seattle then your wallet is not going to be hanging out of your pocket. A person would not leave a purse or bag lying somewhere, trusting that it will still be there in an hour. This was never told to a person but it is just an unspoken rule that when there are homeless people around, or just a large group of people, that you stay protective of your belongings.

  45. A buy nothing day could also be created in union with a save the environment day. since people will not be making purchases, there will be less travel and people will not be driving to the store or to work, if they work at a store. The day could promote being eco-friendly while still showing the people the problem being faced with over consumerism.

    • i think that it would help if you inserted an example of an eco friendly store or something at the end of the paragraph. Also it sounds like your idea of the eco friendly connection is straying from the point a little bit

  46. there is no doubt that this article (“Buy Nothing Day,” courtesy Adbusters, http://www.adbusters.org) knows what it is talking about. The majority of the people in this world excessively buy items we don’t need. We are like a loaded pistol just waiting to go off when we have money in our pockets. a Buy Nothing Day would show us that we all over consume and that we do not need to spend money everyday. Buy what you need and then just put the other money away until it is needed again. This way we are all wasting less money and the money could go to pay bills and getting more people out of debt.

    • You have a great simile in there Phil, but what u really need to make this paragraph much stronger is an example. Something that shows how frivolous we truly are with money and are willing to just empty our wallets in an instant. I think of Black Friday shopping.

  47. Despite the faults of this day free from spending, this holiday will bring a sense of realization to the public. If you can not spend money for twenty-four hours it causes you to think of how much you are over consuming. Forces people to re-evaluate their lifestyle of throwing away money. This holiday can bring a good balance to the extremes of over consumption.

    • I feel like you should try and refrain from using “this” right away because it is your first sentence of the paragraph and you use it twice in one sentence without saying what the this is. What does not spending make the person think of? Try and explain more on this to help bulk up your paragraph.

      • Raynee, YES!! This is just like the (HA! I noticed I just used vague pronoun reference too! Gah!) example I had on weeds and roses that I said I would clarify. Thanks for pointing out the vague pronoun/referent problems in the above work–good eye!

  48. Buy Nothing Day might even be marked as a relaxation day. It may become a day where people do not just buy goods but also not worry of money in general. It can be a day to forget that money exists. This day might become a stress reliever for the common depressed man.Many people in America rarely think clearly because of the stress of everyday life. It’s a day that could be the day that allows you to kick back and relax. A day to pick up that book that’s been staring at fro that dusty bookshelf.

  49. (Period 6)
    A buy nothing day would also help Americans separate their wants from their needs. Much of the money spent yearly is on novelties, not necessities. A trip to the Bahamas and a visit to the Versache store brought this to my attention. Reading the price tags on $1,000 dresses that really were not appealing and $300 headbands made me realize that status and image seem to be the predominant concerns in our country. If more attention was focused on necessities with the occasional novelty thrown in, everyone would he sitting in a much better position. Society has become a system of “me, myself, and I” instead of the neighborly care and respect we were founded on. Taking a day from every year and devoting it to refraining from making purchases would do nothing but benefit us and our future.

    • You’re vocab is really good on this, but what you need to work on is reconnecting some parts back to the topic. Also if you were to explain more on what the necessities are I think you would bring yourself back to the topic better.

  50. Jacob: I like your paragraph it creates a good point about today’s modern world but you could add a lot more to each sentence. Give examples talk about how much America truly over consumes and which frivolous items America likes to spend money on.

  51. Aidan: I like your contrast between Buy Nothing Day and Black Friday. You could always give more examples about what you know happens on Black Fridays tell more about the crazed customers that were willing to run over a man for a cheap pair of shoes or something of that nature.

  52. This day would show people how much products they have no need for. Items such as drugs, cooked food, and other junk would not be sold. I see people buying McDonalds everyday 7 days a week. I always wonder if they knew how to eat anywhere or anything else but that burger. Other people just go to the store and buy frozen dinners to eat. They think their different from thoughs who buy fastfood, but they are the same fat size, slow walkers who hate PE. On “Buy Nothing Day” people would not be able to buy their dinner already cooked, but would have to cook it themselves.

    • I’d try analyzing other products people buy that they don’t need and why they don’t need them, why do people need to know that the frozen food they buy is bad, why is buying bad in the first place.

  53. Despite our wealthy population poverty still strikes many communities around the nation. A “24 hour detox” of consumerism woud be a very loud wake up call for those living in the spotlight of wealth to see that the luxuries they have been purchasing could be instead turned into a better cause, such as donating to organizations around them. “Buy Nothing Day” gives a new light into a dark world. Such a movement would devolope our world into a more eco-friendly environment. Everyone should be encouraged to join in on the revolution and make a change that someday may truly change the world.

    Raynee Hayes P.3

  54. Because people spend so much time at stores each day, they are fully aware of their consumerism. America’s economy is in shambles making penny pinching a common occurance. There is no way someone who spend their time budgeting could be unaware of how frequently they shop. Creating a day of consumerism awareness becomes redundant if everyone is already fully aware of their consumerism.

  55. On the other hand, there are many families who live “paycheck to paycheck” and necessitate everyday’s income just to make it by. This day of no income could severely impact their already stressful routine. Business men climb the ladder of the economy by using consumerism against buyers and if Buy Nothing Day made a huge impact on the economy the US’s economy could collapse entirely. The Great Depression lasted so long because no one was willing to put money back into other’s hands. Only increasing spending lent to the that austere time in history.

    annalise dillon p. 6

  56. Every Country should have a Buy Nothing Day. This single day can take the shopping industry by storm and say “You do not control us”. By stopping all shopping for one day we can keep stores from taking all our hard earned cash away from us, and keeping it in our pockets instead.

    Brianna Giddings
    per. 6

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